我的感觉....

我有一种感觉，
一种很想逃离这里的感觉，
远离你，
远离所有让我感到忧虑、紧张、难过.....

我有一种感觉，
一种很想大声呐喊的感觉，
呐喊我心中所有的不快、伤心、愤怒....

我有一种感觉，
一种很想把自己封闭的感觉，
封闭我所有的纳闷、秘密、感情....

我有一种感觉，
一种很想去制造一种药，
让我忘记我对你的一切，
一切的爱、一切的单恋、一切的思念、一切的痛苦....

其实，
这一切都不是我想要的感觉，
我想要得感觉，
是当我有压力时，你给我一个深情的拥抱，
一句温暖我的话，一个愿意陪伴我渡过伤心的灵魂....

我要的是你的感情，
我要的是你的关心，
我要的是你的陪伴。

但是，
又有谁愿意呢？

WHO is the MAIN character in a show???

I would like decribe my life as show....

A show where I have to act, to present at all time....

no retake....go mean go....

I always tell myself ,

not to regret with what I did,

what I choose....

but

seriously,

I am regret now....

I am so regret to be here....

I am so so so regret.......

can't be denied,

I go across a lot of joys and sorrows over this university land....

but 

my tears,

really want to flow out.....

if you are trying to keep a distance with me.....

then do it !!!

make it really happen....

a long long distance.....

don't ever come close to me....

do you know....

sometime....

you treat me nicely....

until a level i don't know how to respond........

but 

sometime.......

I am being ignored by you.......

especially when they are there.......

you know

what is my feeling???

I act nothing........

I keep quiet.......

you alway say I pattern....

have you ever stand on my site......

think from my site???

I have a lot of things to share.....

to tell....

sometime.....

i tell you......

but you giving a feeling you are not willing to lend me you ear.....

may be is our mentality have different thinking.....

different opinion ba.........

today....

we go to bp celebrated our birthday....

when you are taking photo with many others......

but i don't even have one....

oh no...

got one...

being force by people....

haiz....

whatever la.....

all that.....

just my problem.....

let me dissapear from your life.....

from this world.......

goodbye....

goodnight..........

sleeping with my tears.......

alone....

listening to the lonely song......

lying down on the bed....

thinking of my problem alone.......

solving all the obstacle alone...........

life??? 

is alway like that.....

no one will really appreciate you....

love you...

taking care of you ....

other than your parent and you yourselves.......

I am tired with that.....

sorry.....

THE ONE WHO READ THIS....

EVEN YOU KNOW WHO AM I WRITING FOR....

PLEASE KEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT....

DON'T TELL ANYONE.....

I JUST TO BE HERE.....

EXPRESS MY ANGLE.......

DON'T SPOIL THE ONLY PLACE THAT I ABLE TO SPREAD ALL MY EMOTION.......

THANK YOU......

My 21st birthday....

Many people will celebrate their 21st birthday grandly....
how about me???
The day before my birthday,
I am study relaxly for my analog test tomorrow....
nothing that I expect...
other than,
score well for my all coming examination and success in life...
one more......
I love you....
hope you feel it....

Happy Birthday to me.......


http://youtu.be/gAnG1V21TZo

烦!!!

that is a period of time i don't update here....
recently, i quick busy...
busy with with all the proposal for my projects and assignment....
busy with preparing the test....
busy with understanding and digesting all the new things that i had never learn before this....
this semester,
I learn much new things....
I experience more new things....
wiring...build up a single phase circuit.....
AUCAD - drawing of analog circuit
robotics....
a lot more....

learning of this new things....
supposingly i am under big pressure....
but ,
I start to enjoy with what I study now...
what I learn now.........
Unfortunately,
something happen on me....
my faculty,
FKEE wish to rebranding the courses in order to get the accrediction....
with carrying this process.......
my specialization willn't being writen in the certificate when i graduate later.......
luckly,
KPT direct the FKEE management must obtain 100% of agreement from students
before they rebranding the courses....
I am the one who are not willing to sign.......
in fact,
I have think for several times....
I still refuse to sign that....
I not sturborn...
but I have my own reasons...........
seriously....
this issues really bring me down.......
for many people....this is just a small matter....
is just nothing....
but for me.......
what am I here???
that is the only answers.....

人生，总有许许多多的疑惑，
许许多多的问题....
如果， 我可以选择，
我不会选择你，
可是，
爱情，
一个人生最大的难题，
我， 真的没能力，
总是用功课来麻醉自己....
我很想很想与你分享我的一切，
当我有压力时，
你给我一个拥抱，
或是让我静静地拥抱着你，
可惜，
我想很难.....
所有的压力，
就让我自己，
一个人，
默默地...
在深夜里，
解决吧.....

一个不能说的秘密....

周杰伦所领演的不能说的秘密，
到中学时期，老师在考试中所设的考题,
秘密，总是围绕于我们...

在这世界上，
一个人到底有多少个秘密呢？
在这些秘密里，
有多少个又是不能说的呢??

秘密真的是秘密吗？
它又能守着至何时？
俗语常说：
“若要人不知，除非己末为”
“纸是包不住火"
提醒了我，
这世界上，
没有一个真正的秘密....

守护一个秘密，
是很辛苦的，
是需付出代价的....

我想告诉，
原本我打算把这事，
收藏于我内心的最深处，
但，
我真的好辛苦....
我承认，
我爱你，
我不晓得你的想法....
你对我，
时热时冷，
我真的好辛苦....
我不是不愿意,
而是，
我只想与我所爱的人，
和爱我的人，
分享我所拥有的一切....
你对我的突冷突热，
我真的不需要....

谁才是真正的赢家呢？？？

有时在想，
要怎样才能做到最好？
其实，
很简单，
尽力就好...

今天，
我看得出你不是很高兴，
也许感到压力了吧，
当身边的人三两下就把功课完成，
而你，
还在想着如何去做，
不是我不想帮你，
而是，
我真的很怕，很怕....
自己在受伤....
不是我不关心你了....
而是用另一个方法去帮你，
在你没开口前，
我绝对不会出手，
但是，
我依然##你，
##着你，
我能做的，
就那么多....

原来读书也是一种罪....

feel upset with some of the people....
In order to avoid the same mistakes i did last semester....
I have even work harder for this semester.....
I start doing revision from now....
because the tests are coming....
i know,
without score well for test,
that is difficult to score an A in final....
but
when i Study....
I heard some stupid statements make by a group of  "smart people"
they bad mouth about me here, there and everywhere....
they edit me a picture....
they.........

may I know?
is study hard is a fault?
you all spending your time on gaming, gambling.....
I just a little bit different from you all only....
ei,
please la....
be a little bit mature.....
don't make me feel you are annoiying and make me aways from you.....

new sem new life.....

end of the 1st semester....
after taking 1 month rest....
after celebrated Chinese New Year....
I have no choice,
but I have to back to parit raja, batu pahat, johor...
my university...
continue my study here....
same as last semester,
I take 18 credit hours this sem....

18 credit hours,
seriously...
extremly heavy....
my timetable pack like hell....

this semester....
i get all good lecturers....
they are 2 chinese teaching me important subject....
not bad....
engineering math 2,
lecturer very good....
but he teach too slow!!!
damn boring some time....

I love my effective communication lecturer....
he is a Malay....
Dr Salleh...
he studied at American for about 7 year n UK 4 years....
thus,
his slang n prounounciation totally different from others Malay lecturer....
I feel relax and comfortable while listening to his lecturer....

However,
In university,
if u get a good lecturer,
in other words,
the chance of getting A become tough....
because their requirement are higher compair to others....
by the way,
I believe if I work harder enough...
I able to do it....

tell myself....
not to be regret....
this is the very last chance for my study life....
to be successful or not....
all in my hand....
no one going to help me....

SEMESTER 2....
I AM READY FOR YOU.....

Happy Chinese New Year....

农历新年乃是华人传统节日中最重要的节日....

在农历新年里，

家家户户必定大事庆祝....

先来个团圆饭，在来个压岁钱....

以往的炮竹声响连天，到今时今日还是存在....

随着时间的改变，

庆祝仪式已经换汤不换药.....

意义依然存在,

但是庆祝的方法早已千变万化....

以往的新年，

家人必须集合在祖屋，

一起享用由家人分工合作所烹饪的食物，

今天，

早已换成到世界各地旅行去.....

每个人都带着愉快的心情跟随父母回乡过年去....

但是，

每次回来，

我的心情总是繁重....

我对这地方真的感到厌倦....

我为我的妈妈感到疲劳....

回到家乡，

我妈可就像 女佣似的，

一天到晚给一直煮，一直洗....

那些人只懂得吃饱坐，坐饱吃.....

我真的很佩服我妈这20多年来得忍受....

今年比往年好的多，

因为我开始长大了，

也没有人敢对我大小声，

吩咐我做这个做那个....

但我妹妹乃然被欺负.....

我告诉自己，

我一定会很努力，

不会让这班人再那大小声，

唯一的方法就是比他们来得富有....

今年，

妈妈有为大家准备了一大桌的菜肴....

妈妈

好好休息，

别再挨了....

Once upon a time....

there is a period of time i never updated my blog....
I do really hv a lot of feeling would like to share here....
1st semester result was annouced....
I not really satisfy with my result...

not as good as what i wish....
my electric circuit result....
i was thinking i had did much better than that....
by the way,
i not going to give up....
for many people,
this result is excellent enough....
but b4 i enter uni,
i told myself,
graduate with 1st class....
so,
this result not really consider good for me....
I not show off....
just to share my feeling here....
pls get loss if you not happy with it....

this 1st semester,
i really gain a lot....
i really growth....
can't be denied,
i was fall in ______________.

I don't like to listen someone call me *** **
i prefer you to call me ****
but i know that is impossible....
by the way....
thank for hurt me again n again....
bad mouth about me behind of me....


******* always ask me why i am so emotional???
because I care about it....
I care about every single statement u make....
I know I am just nothing for you....
I know you going to kick me aways when we graduate later....
but I have feeling....
I really pain when i being hurt....
I emotional because I hope you come over me....
talk to me....
share my sadness .........
but that is impossible.........
anyway....
that's not your fault....
is my....
I will try my very best to control it............